Happy New Year!! Actually im not so happy with my last 31 december 09 because i watch movie without You countdown without You even eat also without You.. I miss You all the time.. I should let you go cause im not ur whom even if you are my girl i'll let you go too.. This's what we call freedom.. right? If i let you go you will feel more happy then go ahead even if i feel sad that you not along with me.. As good as you feel happy then i'll happy too.. I'll always respect your opinion..

Actually you still remember to answer me?? Im still waiting your answer.. When can you give me your answer?? I really hope that you can be my girl.. Maybe you need survey or make sure the feeling is that true or not .. or maybe you need time to prove me .. or you need time to recover your last memory.. i know.. i understand.. but trust me i wont be the one who leave you and dont you feel bad if u break up with me.. Actually got On sure got Break dont you mind so much.. You have to try atleast we got fun before.. 1 more thing that i can make sure that we can be like last time even if we break.. trust me! Still remember that last time with my ex also the same what..

Sometime when he touch you i'll feel so angry.. I don't know you know about that or not but sometime i feel like u got abit feel to him.. This's the way i feel scared..

I really need your answer to make sure that you love me.. Please!!!
I dont know why you still dont want to answer me?? we almost treat it as gf bf already why dont you accept me?? If not pleace Reject me then i'll recover it from now onward.. Anyway i promise it before that i can treat you like last time.. please.. I hope to know your answer as soon as possible...

When can i give me a real answer to me?? When can i get the answer from you?? I really hope to know as soon as possible.. may i?? Nowadays you cant show me that u got feel to me actually.. Last time still can feel it now no more.. Where's the feel?
Actually im so sad that u told me i wont to go mr ong's event.. You said u want to go with ur friends even if he''s event not on 31th.. Sad case.. haiz You make my mood worst you know.. Im hurt almost because of you.. sometime i really cant stop thinking about you did you??
Sometime i gave me feel you are not really got feel to me.. You told me that you cant realise that i love you but i also cant realise ur feel too.. this's truth..

24 december 09 Night
This's x'mas day is the most hard to over even if i stay at home better than went out.. Im so regret that i asking them to hang out for celebrated this bad x'mas!! Whatever time would pass it 1 sec by 1 sec.. No point for me to feel not well if she dont like me but at the same time why dont she straight to tell me that she dont like me then maybe i would hurt a few days then after a few days i will be come back from normal.. but she never tell me YES or No.. what she want? Actually she never accept me also no wrong.. i should said she suppose to reject me.. cause im not a good couple.. i cant be anyone's couple too.. Whatever!!! i dont care.. right who care?? im not the one who care.. Im repeat NOT the one who care... i should not 'jiak chor' i know that she's try to make me jealous but she did it and i kena.. fine i cant tahan what i saw just now.. damn syok! Im repeat .. damn SYOK!!! i should use syok to explain what i feel.. feeling good.. long time never get the kind of feel hurt when i smile.. it's really hurt... cool!!! i love it!!!
Am i insane?? excatly man.. you're insane bitch!!!

25 Decmber 09
Today was fun!! Although 3 of us 3pm only go fetch yl and eat breakfast.. when 24night i was cant sleep whole night.. her head headache also but she got sleep better than i.. Then i chat with her at midnight cause she cant sleep also until 7 something nearly 8 only we tryin to sleep but i still cant sleep until now 26 december 09 12.07am only feel sleepy.. now the way she sleep different like last time d.. she never hug me but.. i hug her sleep.. Actually whole day cant sleep also because of her nia.. 24night really make me damn angry!!!
Today we was going to Jun there celebreate.. at Ultimaxx queensbay there celebrate.. there got alot of pretty girls there we some more take photo with them.. damn cool and syok..hahh
After finished the function we went to pasar malam there then sent yl back.. i and cindy sent her until infront of her house.. then i n cindy walked back to ah hong's car..

Actually should i ask?? My feeling tell me that she dont like me.. Actually yesterday im preparing to tell her d but this stupid malay tb ask her first then me stop askin her d.. Like just now i just try to tell her but she answer me dont play.. means what??

Although both of us closer but our distance will getting far.. Sometime i feel .. No, i dont know how to explain what i feel.. Like yesterday she just left me alone even my neck was feel pain also she never care.. Maybe i feel is correct.. soong i think u are wrong.. Maybe this time ur 6sense is wrong but i wont scold u cause sometime everyone also will sence wrong something.. it's ok cause i sence it d.. Im not that lucky to have this kind of .. what .. * sigh* whatever .. (dont u think too much, just leave it! Dont Care!!)

My feeling will always be there for u but .. maybe i dont know how to treat u as good as possible.. Actually im thinking to ask u even if u reject me.. This's what soong teach.. Just wanna know the answer and u know what?! I will going to ask her on the special day even if she reject will get me hurt in the special day when the next time will remind me but i wanted to ask her on that day maybe face to face will more better than on phone.. I know that day on phone got that chance to ask but i think not that good for me.. I just wanna try face to face ask her..

I know i cant be a good partner, cause im not perfect.. I cant give what she need.. Shit! What the hell am i talking about.. No! No! No! Am i INSANE ?? huh
Never mind le. Dont know how many times i had been get rejected from people but she's the one that can make me feel .. different.. It's different feel to others..
Maybe i should hope that it's fail when i ask cause if fail mean the story didnt start and my hurt would not come to me after we break.. Is it?

模糊的世界几时才会变得精彩一点？我越来越搞不清楚事情的来源了。他真的让我觉得很模糊，搞不清楚他要的是什么，我跟不了解他在想些什么。有时对我很好，有时又对我很冷淡，好像今天他对我也蛮冷淡一下。我陪他走到天桥那边就个走个路，但我们却一声的再见也没有。有时他真的让我觉得很痛心。其实我应该要跟他告白吗？我真的搞不清楚他到底要的是什么。虽然我问了他而他也告诉我了，但在他们的开玩笑下我还是会很不爽。

我也搞不清楚为何我会跟他们玩一份，其实我是在掩饰着我不喜欢他吗？其实为什么这次我会怕给人知道我喜欢的是他？现在只有3个人知道我喜欢谁，3个人对我来说真的很多了其实1个就足够了。我想还有一个人会猜到，以他的智商我想他会知道。只是他不问我不讲罢了。

其实有一个疑问在我心里很久了，我一直都不敢问他。这次我什么都不敢讲，有时开玩笑的讲几句其实是真心话。不像以前什么都说，有多想念那个人我都会把这都告诉那个人。这次真的很秘密。

在我们爬山的那一天，我真的很担心他，他好像不大会照顾自己。我们到了目的地我就离开了他，这样就流血了。那杀那其实我很想冲去看他有没有事但我又怕被人发现。幸好没事，如果好像wloon那样我真的会很心疼。

有时我有一种冲动想把他紧紧的抱这他。他的某一些话真的能把我的心给抓住，虽然有时他对我不理不睬。其实喜欢一个人不可以太宠他，他会变得欺负你。因为他知道你会很宠他，那他就欺负你了。

HELP!!!!!!! Should i? Should i ask? My god! Today after hiking left me and soong. I and her keep thinking negative but i know soong's trying to help me up but i still no confident to myself. I cant thinking of this.. This's my first feeling that i have been feel. I just cant stop thinking about her.. My head is all appear her in my mind.. Even just now i was went out with eling aiyin and soong i still thinking about her.. When counting star also will thinking about her when she asked me to count stars and when i on phone with her..
I miss u..
Actually i wanna ask u a question but no confident with myself.. Im scared to get the answer.. Im still thinking cause im not sure yet.. What should i do?? I was thinking a few hours d but still dont know how.. Complicated!!!
Sometime she will make me feel got but sometime she will make me feel no.. Im still guessing guessing.. Should i ask?? will i success?? I so nerves about the answer even is she dont like me.. I really wanted to know her answer.. Yesterday really miss her but she said lazy to come to Jelutong Xpress there.. cause me hang out with chow aiyin and yvonne.. She hang out with her friend too.. Haiz.. counting the start while thinking of her.. I wanted to count star with her.. sometime when i dare to ask that time she sure make me change my mind.. Haiz im useless..

你啊竟然在我心目中的地位以变了，变得很重要。每一次的节目都需要你的陪伴耶，那你想你的地位有多高吗？有什么好东西去享受我一定会是第一个想到的就是你。
但今天你的讯息发送得很慢甚至没发送给我，你是怎么了？还是你在忙？其实我没期望些什么，我只是想知道你有没有喜欢我罢了。

今天我对他有一种“依依不舍”的感觉。当我一位朋友叫他走时我真的很想陪他去。今天我和他的相处只有5或10分钟而已，还是几分钟的相处。这几天和他的相处时间太长了，现在只有那么几分钟的相处又点困难。
现在有点让我觉得想念和等待他能渐渐的变成我的嗜好了。早上等着他睡醒了上网，下午等着见他，晚上等着他放工。就在现在的时间是来想念他。其实每当我讲他和那个人我都会很害怕说他会喜欢上他。有时他们两被讲时我会觉得很生气有时能忍或陪他们讲。其实这对我的伤害还蛮强，也许这就是我的性格吧。
每当我和你相处的时间都让我觉得有幸福的感觉。是你让我又了希望是你让我开心了，你改变了我吗？
其实人总是要为自己所说的每一句负责。我很后悔的把我所说的话告诉了他(Theng) 下次的必密都不会告诉他了。太恐怖了！这是所以我不相信人与人的信任。表面他是没有可能那么无聊讲出来那里知道有人那么无聊，他能为了一天的开心换了我们的信任。我对他真的很失望。开玩笑的都告诉了别人。我想他一定把我所说的东西告诉了他们。很失望真的很失望！
时间的冲忙让我觉得很模糊，不知所做。
其实我很想告诉他我喜欢他但这几天看到他们的失败让我很害怕。我不想失去任何东西。我也不能选择我要的路线。时间，工作，金钱，情人，亲人 哪一个比较重要？还是自己比较重要呢?